hog the mic

Don’t Hog the Mic

I attended 2 meetings with clients this month where a team member opened their mouth to speak to the group. By the time they closed their mouth, so much time had passed, and they had spoken so many words that I struggled to grasp the point they wanted to make.

I’m pretty sure the rest of their colleagues felt the same way. 

I liken the experience to watching a rambling 3-hour movie that would be far more compelling and memorable if it were edited down to a punchy 90 minutes.     

I wrote a blog about how I learned to be a better listener, but these individuals stretch my abilities. I fantasize about having a magic remote control so I can listen to them at 2x speed to get it over with.  

Both individuals are intelligent and passionate. There is a point they wanted to make, but the signal got lost in the noise. Rather than deliver a punchline, they spiraled around a topic until eventually their stream of words fizzled out. Rather than finish with a bang, they finished with a whimper. 

If I am facilitating, I usually intervene to prevent this from happening, but on these 2 occasions, I chose to zoom out and observe the group dynamics as a research project in preparation for updating my management training program “Meetings with Impact.”

I noticed on both occasions that the rest of the group nodded their heads politely, but then the room went silent. 

Instead of a verbal volleyball match where participants keep the ball aloft and hit the ball over the net with a cadence of to and fro, it’s like one person grabbed the ball and held on to it in the middle of the game, bringing play to an uncomfortable halt. 

The 2 verbose individuals don’t strike me as egoists who like to hear the sound of their own voice. On both occasions, I suspected it was more related to confidence, and they overtalked to mask a feeling of anxiety.    

In general, when I see someone hogging the microphone, I intervene using a technique I learned from a well-known television interviewer. I call it my “60-second rule.”

When I am facilitating a strategic planning session, I explain my 60-second rule at the beginning of the day as follows.

“I will go around the room and encourage each person to share their opinion. I want you to speak your mind, but ‘don’t hog the mic’. Imagine I have a countdown timer. For the first 45 seconds, you have a green light to speak. After 45 seconds, the light turns yellow, and you should start wrapping up. At 60 seconds, the light turns red, and you need to stop and let someone else speak. If you don’t, I will interrupt you and ask you to summarize your thoughts so we can let someone else have their turn.”

In 2015, Google conducted research on 180 of its teams to identify the success habits common to the most effective teams. One of their findings was that successful managers encouraged their people to speak in roughly the same proportion. Basically, all team members get the same amount of airtime to share their opinions. No, it won’t be the same amount of airtime for every person, at every meeting, but it should balance out over time, and the manager (or meeting facilitator) needs to keep this in mind.

Also, when I facilitate meetings, I encourage the most senior leader to speak last. I ask the junior team members to share their opinions first and go around the room, giving everyone a roughly equal opportunity to speak. This prevents the dominant individual from biasing the discussion or narrowing down the options too early.

I aim to achieve roughly equal airtime and prevent the louder, more dominant team members from monopolizing the discussion.

And if I see someone hogging the mic, I deploy the 60-second rule and interject. For example.

 Excuse me. To keep us on track…..
… can you give us a one-sentence summary of the point you want to make?
… let’s pause there. I’ll make a note for you and Bob to discuss that topic offline after this meeting 
… I’d like to move on to the next item on the agenda

These are just examples. I also find it helps to use a hand gesture, like raising my hand to get their attention. 

Personal disclosure. I also use my 60-second rule during social gatherings. If I’m on the receiving end of a 1-way monologue with a “bore” who violates my 60-second rule, I look for ways to interject with questions or involve other people in the conversation. If all else fails, I find an excuse to extract myself from their presence asap! 

Don’t hog the mic!

Bore (noun) definition: A person who causes weariness and restlessness through lack of interest.

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Until next time…
Stephen